David J Salmon “The Coach that Cycles”

Think Before You Act

Many of the sticky situations that people get themselves into are a result of not thinking about their actions beforehand. They don’t stop to think about what they are doing until it is too late. Always think things through before you act. If you are not sure about an action, ask advice, talk it over with someone who will give you objective advice. If you are in a position where you need to act without thinking it through, stall for time or just don’t do it.

The story of a teenage beauty queen who acted on impulse and then regretted it has been in the news. She and some friends left a restaurant without paying a small bill of about $50. She forgot her handbag and went back for it, only to find that the restaurant manager had called the police. They discovered some marijuana in her bag and she and her friends were arrested. She lost her beauty crown as a result.

These were teenagers acting stupidly without thinking through to the consequences. They got caught up in the impulse and didn’t think at all. We all have crazy impulses but mostly we think before we put them into action and realize that they are crazy. If in doubt give yourself more time to think, think again and only act once you are sure, or don’t act at all.

Coaching

Actions always have consequences. If you want to avoid doing things that you will regret, make sure that you think through your actions beforehand. The consequences of unthinking action may not have you arrested, but could cause hurt feelings or embarrassment, which could have been avoided if you’d taken the time to think. Think before you act and avoid a lot of grief and heartache in your life.

Coaching Question

Do you take the time to think before you act?

Daily Action

Get into the habit of Stop, Think, Think again, then Act. This rule will keep you from a lot of regrets.

Quotes

“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” James Joyce

“Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.” Oscar Wilde

“All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.” Winston Churchill

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Is There A Gold Mine In Your Front Garden?

Often we are so busy looking for fame and fortune in the great wide world that we don’t look at what we have right in front of us. People set off to seek their fortune only to discover that what they were looking for was back home all the time. There is a story about a man who left his farm to seek riches by traveling the world. He died far from home in poverty. The buyer of the man’s farm discovered a huge vein of gold just under the farmland. If he’d just stayed at home the man would have been rich beyond his wildest dreams. He overlooked the obvious.

You too have a gold mine right in front of you. You hold your fortune inside you. If you stop and pay attention you will find that you have exactly what you need to create your dreams. Woody Allen is quoted as saying that “The biggest part of success is showing up”. As well as showing up though, you also need to pay attention. If you are too busy looking outside to the world, you could miss the obvious which is right where you are.

An example of someone who discovered a gold mine right where she was: the lady who made such wonderful truffles that her friends started commissioning her to make them for them. Eventually she realized that she had the makings of earning her own living from it and started a successful hand-made chocolate business.

Coaching

You don’t usually stumble upon your own gold mine through luck. You need to pay attention to what is in front of you, listen to your own inner wisdom and then take action. The crucial point is taking action. Ideas are great but not enough on their own. When you do something with your idea you start on the way to discover your own personal gold mine.

Coaching Question

Have you found your own gold mine yet?

Daily Action

Your gold mine is there. To look for it pay attention to the obvious things around you. Look for a need that others have in common with you and fill it.

Quotes

“Be ready when opportunity comes. Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.” Roy D. Chapin Jr.

“The door to opportunity is always labeled ‘push’.” Anonymous

“If a window of opportunity appears, don’t pull down the shade.” Tom Peters

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Moving On

I love the action movies where the final scene shows the hero preparing to leave and uttering the words “My work here is done” It seems to me that knowing when it is time to move on is an art that most of us have trouble with in real life. Often we have done all the work we can, completed a relationship or an activity but we find it difficult to let go and move on.

Life is in a constant state of change. Life doesn’t stay the same. It can be hard to recognize and accept though and we resist change. We don’t see that the end has come so we keep on doing things the way we have always done them. Admitting and accepting that a relationship is over or that it is time to move on from a job that we are comfortable in is hard. We stay put even though we are no longer enjoying it the way we used to, or maybe are even unhappy. It is hard to move on, but it is far worse to cling on to situations and people that are no longer what we need in our lives.

The things in our life are there for a reason. People bring lessons that we need to learn and each experience helps us learn and grow. Once we have learned the lesson we can move on to a new one. There is no point staying put after the lesson is over. Hanging on to old jobs, relationships or situations after you have learned the lesson keeps you stuck. The fear of the unknown stops you from moving on and growing again. We may not know what is next but we don’t have to. Taking just one step forwards and leaving the old behind is all we need to do. The next step will appear in turn and keep us growing.

Coaching Question

Is it time to move on?

Daily Action

Is there a situation in your life that is complete? Are you hanging on instead of moving on? Ask yourself what is keeping you stuck and what you need to do to free yourself to move on to the next learning opportunity in your life. You don’t have to move on immediately, but becoming aware of the situation helps you make better choices when an opportunity arises.

Quotes 

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” Raymond Lindquist

“Some think it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” Sylvia Robinson

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Honor and Karma

If you knew you wouldn’t get caught and no-one was watching, what small things might you do that you shouldn’t? It’s easy to be honorable and law abiding when you know that there are people watching and that you’d probably get caught. It says far more about a person what they would do if they knew that they would never get found out.

We’re not talking really criminal things here, just small things. Tram and bus systems where you are supposed to stamp your ticket yourself are a good example. If you know that there are rarely any inspectors checking tickets would you stamp your ticket anyway, or try to get away with using it again next time? If, when you were already outside by your car, you found an extra item in your supermarket trolley that the cashier had not checked, would you go back and pay for it? In these cases you are unlikely to get caught, but there is a question of honor and also karma.

If you would skip paying for a ticket, it is the top of a slippery slope to bringing yourself more bad karma by skipping other things. If you take something without paying for it, even by a genuine mistake, if you can correct that mistake you should. Karma is accumulated whether you get caught or not. By small lapses in honor you are creating karma for yourself that will come back to you eventually.

Coaching

The Law of Karma works in our favor too. It’s not just the bad that comes back to us, but also the good. If you act honorably and put positive energy out, that will return to you, in the way others treat you. The Law of Karma doesn’t just bring you back what you put out, it brings it back increased. So a small good deed on your part will bring you back a lot more good. It pays you to act with honor even over something small like a ticket.

Coaching Question

Are you creating good karma for yourself?

Daily Action

Create as much good karma as you can today. Act with honor, generosity and kindness and that is what you will get back.

Quotes

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Wayne Dyer

“The consequences of our actions take hold of us quite indifferent to our claim that meanwhile we have “improved.”" Nietzsche

“It is not how much you do, but how much Love you put into the doing that matters.” Mother Teresa

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Now Is the Best Time To Start

 The age old saying “There is no time like the present” has a lot of truth in it, but we still often resist it. When we don’t feel ready to do something, we can come up with a thousand reasons why now isn’t a good time. We fear the unknown and can easily persuade ourselves to wait for a better time. But waiting for the perfect time stops you from getting on with actions that could be taken right now. There is hardly ever a perfect time to make a big move. But that doesn’t mean to say that it is not the right time to get started. Maybe right now all you need to do is to get the ball rolling, so things fall into place.

Often the real problem isn’t that it’s not the right time. More likely is that you just don’t know where to get started on a big project. For example, if you decide you want to change jobs, you don’t have to start by leaving the job you are in now. You start slowly by deciding on exactly what sort of job you are looking for. You re-write your CV, research opportunities, perhaps even consult a career specialist to help you plan your approach. The actual step of changing jobs comes after all this preparation work, composed of many small steps.

The secret of tackling a big move is to start where you are and take a first small step. The next steps will gradually fall into place once you take action. Now is the best time to take that first small step.

 Coaching

It is a waste of energy to look for reasons why now is not the right time to get started. Instead use that energy to find reasons to start and work out what first step you can take from where

you are now. You are just where you are meant to be right now. The usual excuses that people use for not doing something, “I don’t have the right qualifications, I’m too old, it will cost too much,” are just limitations imposed by themselves. Step past your limitations and work out the first steps you can take. There may be many steps needed before you can reach your goal, but once you start you will get closer with every step you take. If you take one small step every day in one year you will 365 steps closer to making your dream come true.

Coaching Question

What first step can you take today?

Daily Action

Start by creating a plan to help you reach your goal. Break it down into small steps and create a system that works for you; a spreadsheet, a list or whatever you like. The main thing is to have a system that you will follow to track your progress. Take daily steps towards your goal and you will have no more reasons not to start now.

Quotes

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Benjamin Franklin

“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” George Washington Carver

 
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Let Yourself Feel

Feelings are feelings. They aren’t good or bad, they just are. Feelings express what you are experiencing at the time. Ignoring or suppressing your feelings isn’t a good idea. To understand and appreciate life deeply you need to be in touch with your feelings, as they are the key to experiencing life.

It isn’t always easy to let yourself feel your feelings so deeply. Sadness, grief and disappointment aren’t easy emotions to allow ourselves to experience. Society expects us to get a grip on our distressing feelings and we are expected to get over them as quickly as possible. However the more you feel a feeling whether a happy or sad one, the more deeply you experience life. You also are able to be more empathetic towards others. Experiencing sadness also makes you appreciate feelings of joy more when they come your way.

Grieving over the death of a pet that we are attached to is often frowned upon, but our feelings are just as real and should be acknowledged. Feelings are not about what others think of as appropriate, but about what we are actually feeling. Go with your feelings and allow yourself to experience them fully, no matter what others think.

Coaching

Feelings shouldn’t be suppressed or censored. It doesn’t matter what others think – you have the right to feel how you do and express it.

Coaching Question

Are you letting yourself feel?

Daily Action

Observe all the feelings that you feel today. Make the most of each one and value it for what it is. When you feel, you know that you are living your life.

Quotes

“Tears are words the heart can’t express.” Anonymous

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Carl W. Buechner

“People love others not for who they are but for how they make them feel.” Irwin Federman

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To Get A Yes, You Have To Ask

An important key to success is being prepared to ask for what you want. Unless you ask you are unlikely to get something. People can’t say yes to you unless you ask. Never be afraid of asking for something. You won’t get what you want unless you do.

A friend recently applied for a job that was her dream job. She didn’t have all the qualifications they were asking  for and she knew it was a long shot, but she applied anyway. Her view was that if she didn’t apply they wouldn’t have anything to say yes to. I was impressed by her positive take on it. Many of us in the same position wouldn’t have bothered applying, thinking that they would only get rejected anyway. You never know unless you try and even with a long shot there is always a chance of a yes. The important thing to remember is that you have to ask, so that the other person has a chance to say yes.

Coaching

Rather than fearing a no, change your perspective to that of giving people the opportunity to give you a yes. You never know what possibilities there are unless you try. Perhaps you won’t get the job you applied for, but they might offer you another one that is just right for you instead, just because you gave them the opportunity of meeting you. Ask and allow a yes to come your way.

 Coaching Question

Are you asking so that you can get a yes?

Daily Action

Practice giving others the chance to say yes. Ask for what you want. You have a 50/50 chance of getting it, which are really good odds.

 Quotes

“You create your opportunities by asking for them.” Shakti Gawain

“If there is something to gain and nothing to lose by asking, by all means ask!” W. Clement Stone

“Anything that’s worth having is worth asking for.” Melba Colgrove

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Build Your Foundations Well

When you build a house the foundation is the most important part to get right. You need a solid foundation to support the walls and the whole building. Without it, however well you build your roof and walls they could all crumble if not supported properly. A foundation doesn’t need creativity, just good solid building, block by block. The creativity comes after, when you add your own designs and finishing touches to your home. But you can’t be creative unless the foundation is there to support it.

It is the same with anything in life. You have to build your foundation well, before you get to be creative and make your own individual mark. Once your foundation is in place you can build on it and use your flare and creativity to make it yours.

We often want to skip over the boring work of laying a foundation. It is not very exciting and we are impatient to proceed to the creative part. The foundation is dull and we want the fun part of it all. Often we think we already know it all, after all it is basic. But if we don’t take the time to learn the basics thoroughly as a foundation, everything we do afterwards may fall down in ruins because it is not supported. You need a strong foundation if you want what you build to last.

Coaching

The basics may be dull and even uncomfortable to learn, but resist the temptations to rush through them. The basics build you a strong foundation for the future. Once you have them mastered it will be that much easier to learn the more difficult techniques that you need to express your creativity.

Coaching Question

Are you building your foundation as well as you can?

Daily Action

If you are struggling in something, look back and see if you took the time to master the basics. If you skipped over them, go back and learn them now. It will be time well spent as you will find things much easier once you have.

Quotes

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister Eckhart

“Do not despise the bottom rungs in the ascent to greatness.” Publilius Syrus

“Don’t be afraid if things seem difficult in the beginning. That’s only the initial impression. The important thing is not to retreat; you have to master yourself.” Olga Korbut

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All You Need Is Ten Minutes

Ten minutes doesn’t seem very long, but focusing for ten minutes at a time can get a lot of things done. In ten minutes you can de-stress, or you can use it to catch up on the news, finish off a small job or do one piece of a bigger project. Ten minutes can accomplish many things.

Taking ten minutes to unwind can make a big difference to your day, so that you are more productive for the rest of it. Ten minutes is enough to walk around the block, do some stretching exercises, take a power nap or just do some deep breathing and meditation, so that you feel rejuvenated and refreshed.Ten minutes give you a chance to catch up with e-mails and thank you notes, pay a few bills or make a phone call. You can complete those small tasks that are always being put off in a few batches of ten minutes.

Loads of small chores fit into ten minutes. Dusting your desk, taking out the rubbish, unloading the dishwasher can all fit into an odd ten minutes while you are waiting for something else to happen or someone else to be ready. You’ll be able to get ahead and ease the load of chores and fill in time productively that might otherwise have been wasted.

Many big projects can be broken down into small steps. Try breaking down tasks into sections that can be done in ten minute bursts. Not only will it be easier to see your forward progress, but you will get moiré done, as you can fit it into odd slots of available time, instead of waiting to have a whole morning available to tackle the project.Ten minute tasks also help you minimize the stress of overwhelm. By having tasks available that fit into ten minute slots you can focus on them easily and get them done quickly without all the wasted time of wondering what to start with,  which you have with a big unfocussed project. Getting ten minutes done will inspire you to carry on and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Coaching

Ten minutes can seem like no time at all, but if you are focused you can do a lot in it. The secret is knowing what to do with your ten minutes and having a list of quick tasks that you can do whenever you have ten minutes free.

Coaching Question

What will you do with your ten minutes?

Daily Action

If you have a task that seems daunting, try breaking it up into ten minute segments to do every time you have ten minutes available in between other tasks. You’ll be amazed how much you can get done when you are focused.

Quotes

“I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.” Steven Wright

“It’s how we spend our time here and now, that really matters. If you are fed up with the way you have come to interact with time, change it.” Marcia Wieder

“Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely.” Anonymous

“Your greatest resource is your time.” Brian Tracy

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Call Yourself Something Nice

We have pet names or terms of endearment for all of the important people in our lives. Even our pets or sometimes our cars have a special name that we use. “Come on sweetie” we’ll say as the car struggles to start on a cold morning. “Yes love, darling, honey, or gorgeous” we’ll say to children or partner. These special names show how much our family mean to us and express our affection for them. But how often do we use an affectionate term like this when we are talking to ourselves? More often we the names we call ourselves are far from affectionate.

Just think if we treated ourselves as affectionately as we do those we love. How about if, instead of calling ourselves a stupid idiot for forgetting to take an umbrella when it turns out to be a rainy day, we said to ourselves “never mind darling, a drop of rain won’t hurt.” It’s hard to break the habit of calling ourselves harsh names when we have probably been doing it for years. By stopping something we leave a vacuum. Far easier to learn to replace that bad name with an affectionate name and break the bad habit that way.

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We were taught as children that it’s not nice to call people names. For some reason though, we don’t seem to have applied that rule to ourselves. If we called our friends the names we often call ourselves, we’d lose them pretty quickly. Treat yourself the way you do your friends and family and call yourself nice names. Encourage yourself instead of criticizing yourself and you’ll get along much better.

Coaching
Notice when you call yourself rude or hurtful names and start replacing those with affectionate names. You’ll feel much better in yourself and feel supported just by this small change in the way you treat yourself. You will put a more positive energy out there that really makes a difference.

Coaching Question
Can you think of some affectionate names to call yourself?

Daily Action
Replace any bad names with nice names today. Instead of saying to yourself “Come on you idiot”, say “You can do this darling” or “Come on gorgeous, you’ve done this before and you still can”. Pretend you are talking to your favourite child when you are talking to yourself and see what a difference it makes.

Quotes
“No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Washington is nicknamed “The Evergreen State” because it sounds better than “The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State.” Dave Barry